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Category: Turkey Vulture

New “Jeep’s Only” Parking Lot Plans Approved

On Thursday, March 14th, news broke of long-awaited, massive change to Eastern’s parking lot. For years, students have been pushing for this change to be made. Finally, their dream is coming true. Construction will begin in June for a separate parking lot for Jeeps only. Students have been advocating, rioting, and even starting petitions in order to receive approval for this new lot. The least used of Eastern’s nine outdoor sports fields, the middle school…

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Staff Members Arrested After Being Found Living on the Third Floor

The Grand Rapids Police Department stormed the Forest Hills Eastern High School building late Saturday night. They took into custody Ellen Hamersma, Thomas Wierenga, Linda McCarthy, and Steve Harvey; all former staff members at the school. Police claim that the four were living on the third floor in the A wing and survived off of dead turkey vultures that were downed by Wierenga’s drones and by drinking a mixture of garlic spray used on pizza…

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Superintendent Dan Behm Makes the Controversial Decision to Cancel School for All of March

Superintendent Dan Behm cancels school for the entire month of March in response to a second petition online. “When it comes down to it, it’s really about my clout of Twitter,” Mr. Behm remarks, on his decision to gift students with a full month off of school. The aforementioned petition exceeded the signature count of the first exponentially, reaching over 10,000 signatures and counting. Forest Hills’ students gathered support from around the country, citing student…

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