As we all are working towards ending the monstrous pandemic that has plagued the entire world for the last two years, many are forgetting the real pandemic that is arriving just around the corner. The senioritis virus is well-known for infecting thousands of high-school seniors every year. Peculiarly, only 12th-grade students seem to be affected. Researchers and scientists have dedicated many hours to studying the disease, which appears to have no discovered cure. According to…
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Throughout time, significant philosophers have come and gone in our world. Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, has allowed humanity to achieve its greatest potential. Recently, rumors have surfaced that Ye plans to arrange a meeting with Vladimir Putin, the current president of Russia. The former presidential candidate will also meet with Russian business tycoon Aras Agalarov to grow the Yeezy enterprise in the country. Although Yeezy’s personal and label reps have not released any…
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History vs Hollywood Teacher, Mr. Wysocki, shows students Taylor Swift’s film, All Too Well, to teach them about sturdy relationships….sort of It is the second week of the new semester. And that means a fresh start for hawklings of all grades to get back into the groove of working hard. History class is no exception. But for many taking Mr. Wysocki’s class, History vs Hollywood, they don’t spend their class time like regular social studies…
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It’s that time of year again. Basketballs have been dusted off, plucked from their storage closet, and thrown into the limelight for Eastern’s winter sports season. With their slick pant-suit warm-ups and swift moves on the court, it can be easy to mistake the team for the main focus of the game. But the rest of the world knows the real reason those gym stands fill up to the brim: for a chance to see,…
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The annual adorning of the three halls has begun, but recent turmoil has made things rocky. Will anyone be able to declare a righteous winner? At Eastern, the three high school halls compete in a decorating contest. The event generates holiday spirit with displays of lights, piles of papery snow, and many cozy Netflix fireplaces lit in each room. Everything seemed to be going accordingly for the first day or so of preparation. For students…
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In a shocking turn of events, Forest Hills Eastern’s administration admits that the school has returned to hybrid and permitted a spring break solely to save Officer Green’s sanity. At the beginning of the school season, Officer Green was tasked with directing traffic at the single intersection in the school parking lot. Because many parents no longer allow their children to take the bus due to the pandemic, more families have chosen to drive to…
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2020 has confronted our world with crisis after crisis. In such a time where we are presented with so many issues, we must prioritize those that have troubled millions of Americans and reached their ugly arms far and wide and relentlessly vexed people across the world for decades. There has been dissent over fonts since the Great Depression. In 1929, The Times (a British newspaper) hired Stanley Morison to design a new text font. He…
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Contrary to popular belief, you do not choose your instrument; your instrument chooses you. With the exception of some outliers, as Band Kids grow and develop, they are found to fit into categories compiled with many common characteristics found across their sections. Disclaimer: These claims are scientifically-backed with years of observation and experimentation. The Hawk Herald is not responsible for any existential crises resulting from our ability to recognize your characteristic truths before you did. …
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“It is the end of January. There have been no snow days, and we are desperate,” explained an anonymous member of the group responsible for the shrine that has appeared in the corner of the Great Hall this week. “This time last year we had a polar vortex and no school for an entire week. It’s just not fair.” Seniors, in particular, are agitated, hoping to maximize the number of days missed in the second…
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As they say, modern problems call for ancient solutions. In the wake of the new district-wide cell phone policy, students have reportedly begun to interact with each other during class by sending their messages through carrier hawks. Forest Hills Eastern’s halls have transformed themselves into a flurry of feathers as each student’s personal bird carries notes, forgotten homework, and stolen test copies from class to class. Many students are raving about this new development. “I…
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