There are countless romance-related topics I could write about as this “Valentine’s Day” season comes to a close: how to find a significant other, how to confess your feelings to your crush, how to maintain a relationship. Yet, today I want to talk about something a little more rugged—breakups.
I asked Eastern students from all four grades to tell me their best breakup advice. Here are the results:
- “Don’t hesitate to break up if you don’t like your partner anymore.”
- “Listen to music!!”
- “Everyone is placed in your life to teach you a lesson. Realize what lesson they taught you.”
- “Don’t keep fighting a battle you are meant to walk away from.”
- “If he really wanted to, he would.”
- “I’ve never been in a relationship, but from what I’ve heard: being honest, clear, and communicating your true feelings is more important than anything.”
- “Take time for yourself. Don’t rush it.”
- “Everything happens for a reason. Don’t waste your life lamenting over someone when there are so many opportunities waiting for you.”
- “I think that breakups are important and though they hurt, I think there’s a lot you learn from them. From experience, I’ve learned more about myself and my needs as well as how I need to better myself through a breakup. Breakups to me are a sign that that person served a purpose in your life and are making room for someone else to show and teach you things. Breakups are extremely hard to go through and I’ve learned that it’s better to accept the moments and memories shared rather than to waste time wishing on the ones that didn’t happen. I’m honestly thankful for everyone who broke my heart because without them I wouldn’t be who or where I am today.”
- “It’s going to hurt at first. You’re going to be tempted to text or call. But the best thing you can do is take time and distance yourself from them, because trust me, you don’t want to make decisions based off of emotions in the moment that you’ll regret later. Try not to go stalk their Snap/Instagram or other social media because then all you’ll be able to think about is them. It’s important to learn to live your life without them because that’s the new normal from then on. Sometimes cutting them out or blocking them is the best thing to do, especially if it was a breakup that caused trauma or pain. You need to stay away from that energy. Hang out with friends, try new things, and do stuff to keep your mind off of them.”
- “Be gentle. You are handling someone’s heart.”
- “Don’t give them hope of starting up again if you don’t plan to.”
- “Commit to a breakup… be nice but take care of yourself first.”
- “Don’t dance around the inevitable. You both deserve honesty. The longer you draw it out, the more it will hurt in the long run.”
- “Don’t talk to them after you break up with them… at least for a while.”
- “Be honest with them. Don’t try to think of a reason to stay.”
To finish off, here’s my advice:
It’s okay to cry. It’s normal to mourn the loss of your relationship. It’s always a sharp blow to lose someone that you’ve developed such an intense connection with.
However, don’t hold grudges. Try your best to forgive. Perhaps you’ve heard the quote, “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
I find this to be true. When you let go of all of the hurt someone caused you, when you let go of any resentment, you will breathe easier. Do not try to get revenge—it’s infinitely more beneficial to work on yourself.
I hope that this article finds all of you well. If you are going through a breakup yourself, just know:
It gets better.